Reply: I Love You
by Seo Hyunee
Summary: I thought I was the most miserable person on Earth… Until I met him. Oddly enough, his cold, mature demeanor attracted me and I wanted to know more about him. However, I didn't think that we could become close because of the glass window that separated the two of us. The only thing that connected us were the worn out telephones hanging on both sides of the wall.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: I thought I was the most miserable person on Earth…Until I met him. Oddly enough, his cold, mature demeanor attracted me and I wanted to know more about him. However, I didn't think that we could become close because of the glass window that separated the two of us. The only thing that connected us were the worn out telephones hanging on both sides of the wall.**

* * *

**Chapter One: The Convict**

The small and bright chatter of birds woke Alice up from her deep sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and placed her right arm over her forehead. _It's another day. I don't feel like going today…_

Alice slipped on a light blue robe and put up her brown hair into a messy bun. It's another day. It's a Thursday. As she poured coffee into her mug, she looked at the calendar and sighed.

"I guess I have to visit Vivaldi today. Or else…" She muttered to herself and continued drinking her coffee. _I wish I could made better coffee. Maybe I should ask Julius to teach me one day… _Alice pondered as she drank her quite watery, tasteless coffee. It's been a few years since she talked to Julius. Or actually anybody since **that **incident.

Alice looked at her one room studio and sighed. "Maybe I should just move back in with mother... I don't think I can bear this any longer…" Alice got up and dressed into a simple dress and left her hair in a bun. She washed her face and took a good, long look in the mirror.

Dark circles showed signs of insomnia. Her lips pulled into a tight line. Her eyebrows were unenthusiastically downwards. A few dark spots were here and there. And a lifeless glare was reflected in the mirror. Yes. That same glazed look she held since she could remember when **that **happened.

Alice quickly washed her face and gave herself a quick pat on the cheeks. "I can do this. I can do this," She said, trying to give herself a small boost of confidence for today.

Alice grabbed her light green cardigan and small purse before locking the door.

The noise from the bustling streets grew more prominent as Alice walked out of the elevator and out of her apartment complex. People passed by, giving only a glance at her before continuing on and walking towards their destination. Only if Alice could be like that. Only if she could walk with her head high and continue walking forward. But for Alice, she was stuck in the past. Stuck with despair.

* * *

St. Agnes's was a famous institution located in the Northern district of Tokyo. Regardless of age, race, gender, and situation, St. Agnes took in anyone who needed help of any kind. It took Alice about 20 minutes every Thursday to reach this institution by train. Uncle Gowland suggested that Alice take a visit to St. Agnes because he thought it would be the place for Alice to cope with her depression.

"Sister Kyoko, I'm here for my two hour session with Dr. Vivaldi," Alice said as she entered the small, yet elegant lobby of St. Agnes. A tiny nun, probably in her 60s, gave a huge smile to Alice.

"Good morning Alice! How are you?"

Alice gave a polite smile and answered, "I'm doing better. I guess."

Sister Kyoko smiled gently and walked out of the small reception desk to give Alice a hug. "Well, I'm glad you're doing better. We missed you last week! Would you like some hot tea?"

"No, I'm fine," Alice declined politely.

Sister Kyoko smiled kindly. "Well, okay then, dear. Just have a seat in the waiting room and Dr. Vivaldi should be out soon. Please, tell me if you need anything."

Alice smiled. "I will, thank you."

Alice sat down in the comfy waiting room. It was decorated very simply, but just enough that it felt like you were in a house. Alice felt at ease when she was here, yet she didn't want to be here for her sessions. About fifteen minutes passed and Dr. Vivaldi still hadn't called Alice. Alice huffed. _I really don't want to be here… as kind as these people are… I don't want to be here as a patient…_

Alice's eyes wandered around and noticed a rack filled with different pamphlets:

_**Know a loved one struggling with depression? St. Agnes is here to help!**_

_**Tokyo University's Medical Research Guide on Psychological Illness**_

_**Therapy for the Mind**_

_**How to Cope with Anxiety**_

_**Domestic Violence: Choose the Best for Yourself and Your Future**_

_**Suicide and Depression**_

Alice stopped reading the pamphlets as they caused her to deepen her dark thoughts.

"Alice!" Alice looked up and felt herself being hugged, well more like attacked, by none other than Vivaldi, head psychiatrist of St. Agnes.

"Alice!~ I missed you so much! Why didn't you come last week?" Vivaldi gave a huff and hurt look as she let go of Alice. Alice gave a soft laugh.

"Sorry, my mother called me and asked me to come visit her," said Alice. She looked away and a dark look washed over her face. Vivaldi felt concerned, but to keep things lively, she pulled Alice towards her office.

"Well, it's fine then. Now we get TWO hours together instead of one!" Vivaldi smiled and Alice couldn't help but smile as well.

"How are you?"

"I…. I feel," Alice gulped. "…fine."

Vivaldi pursed her lips and scribbled something on her notepad. "Hmmm… okay. So what did you do yesterday? Did you see anyone?"

Alice pondered for a moment. "Hm… no… I didn't… but…"

Vivaldi leaned in. Alice felt guilt trapped by Vivaldi.

"Um…."

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it Alice. We can talk about something else!" Vivaldi said. "I can show you pictures of my new collection of cute stationary!"

Alice smiled. She and Vivaldi became quite close over the course of this past year. It seems like one of Alice's friends were siblings with Vivaldi. "It's okay Vivaldi, I think I can tell you."

"Well, I'll still show you after session," Vivaldi laughed. "Well, what would you like to tell me?"

"I'm… I'm scared of dying."

Vivaldi listened closely.

"I'm scared of living as well. I remembered the first time I tried to commit suicide. And then, I remembered the second time I tried to commit suicide.

I wondered 'Why didn't I die? I wanted to die, didn't I?'

But, it was all in vain. I feel like I'm running away, but I'm so scared to confront it Vivaldi. I don't think I'll ever get over it…"

By this time, Alice was struck with large droplets of tears, running down her face. Vivaldi grabbed a few tissues and handed them over to Alice.

"Alice, I know you've been feeling this way for a long time since that happened. And I just want to let you know, it's not your fault. There is no need to feel so much shame or guilt. You don't have to forget if you don't want to, but I am here if you want to move forward."

Alice sneezed into a tissue before saying something. "But, day in and day out, I feel like some sort of zombie. I feel like the most miserable person on Earth!" Vivaldi patted Alice's back. She let Alice cry her heart out for another 30 minutes before calming her down.

"Alice, I have a request," said Vivaldi. Alice wiped her tears. "I don't want to see you crying at every session we have. I want to see your smile. Your bright eyes. And of course your beautiful laughter. My baby brother always talked about how much you laughed before." Alice blushed a bit.

"So, you don't have to come."

"What?" Alice was dumbfounded.

"You don't have to come here. I know you don't want to be here as a patient and I don't either. I don't think this place is exactly for you."

"So what are you suggesting?" Alice asked.

"Let's go!" Vivaldi suddenly grabbed Alice and ran out the door with Alice in tow. "Kyoko-san! I'll be out for about an hour or so!" Vivaldi gave waved and pulled Alice into a yellow cab.

* * *

"Vivaldi, where are we going?"

The two of them sat in total silence in the taxi cab. Alice noticed the scenery becoming less urban and more rural with fields of rice passing by quickly.

"You'll see when we get there! I come here usually on Monday's, but they're open Thursday's as well," said Vivaldi. She smiled at Alice who just gave her a puzzled look.

"Here we are Misses. Tokyo Nishi's Detention Center," said the taxi cab driver.

"Detention center?" Alice gave a quizzical look as Vivaldi stepped out of the cab. "W-wait, Vivaldi!"

Vivaldi walked quickly towards the entrance and led Alice inside. "This is Tokyo Nishi's Detention Center, or what we would normally call, jail."

"Jail?!" Alice was totally confused. "Why are we at jail?!"

Alice had a quick look and already assumed the worst. _All of them are criminals._

"Alice, don't fret. I come here once a week and sometimes even twice a week to just help out and talk with some of the inmates. None of them have done anything to me. Some of them are actually quite sweet," said Vivaldi.

"But, how… how…"

"Now, now, let's go to the visitor's room. There's someone I would like for you meet," Vivaldi pulled Alice towards the door and Alice felt shivers go down her spine. _It's probably dark and creepy… Why did Vivaldi bring me here?!  
_

"Aceee! Come out!" Vivaldi shouted on the top of her lungs. Alice looked around. Just white, bare walls. And a single seat in front a glass window with a telephone hanging next to it.

"Huh, what?" A tall, lean, and handsome young man appeared from the guard's room on the right side of the room. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, it's just you Vivaldi," he sighed.

"You stupid Knight… I have a visitor for Mr. Ringmarc today," said Vivaldi.

Ace looked over Vivaldi's shoulder and saw the delicate Alice hiding behind Vivaldi. Ace gave a whistle and winked at Alice. "It seems like you brought a real cutie Vivaldi."

Vivaldi scowled and hit Ace on the head with her purse. "You are not to harass this poor girl. She is under my care and you are not to touch her! Ugh… men!" Ace snickered before acting proper.

"So, you would like to see the lizard today?" asked Ace.

"Not me, but Alice," said Vivaldi.

"What?!" Alice was about to say something, but Vivaldi just hushed her.

"Well, I don't know… he wasn't in such a good mood after recreation time. He took this inmate and punched—"

"Ahem!" Vivaldi cleared her throat and sighed. "Just bring out Mr. Ringmarc before I hit you again Ace."

"Whatever you say," muttered Ace. He swung his keys around and disappeared behind another set of doors.

"Alice, I want you to come here every Thursday at 3 p.m. for about an hour, okay? This will be your session for now on. I'll come at the end of every month to see how you two are doing," said Vivaldi.

"But, I don't think I can do this Vivaldi. How is this supposed to help me?" Alice asked. She felt unsure, mainly because she was visiting jail.

"It's all how you perceive it Alice. Just give a call if you ever need someone to talk to though."

_BUZZ…. BUZZ…._

Alice heard some gears from a door unlocking and a few more clicks.

"I'll be going now, Alice," said Vivaldi. "Promise me, please."

Alice looked away, but then looked Vivaldi straight in the eyes. "I promise."

"Miss Alice, the lizard, oops I mean Mr. Ringmarc is here," said Ace.

Alice heard a chinking noise approaching the window. It grew louder and louder and then it stopped. Then a thump accompanied the stale air.

"Go on," Vivaldi pushed Alice to the chair that was placed in front of the glass window.

Alice slowly walked to the chair and gently sat down. The glare of the light's room covered the man's face, but soon it cleared up.

Dark, yellow eyes glared back at Alice's own innocent, teal-blue eyes.

Alice picked up the phone.

"H-hello… My name is Alice. Alice Liddell…"

The man picked up the phone as well. A soft, yet cold voice answered back.

"Gray. Gray Ringmarc."

* * *

**I LOVE GRAY. Hello my fellow fanfiction readers! After being sick for a week, I thought about writing this... I hope it's a bit refreshing. I guess... I don't know... x) But, I hope some of you can relate to this fanfic. I'm not out there to offend anyone who actually struggled with depression. It's part of my story and I apologize if you get offended. (It just became a part of the story, the more I thought about it). But, I do hope you all enjoy this new fanfic! **

**If you have any suggestions or comments, please REVIEW! :)**

**~Seo Hyunee (P.S. Update in my Bio!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: An Eventful Thursday**

"Gray. Gray Ringmarc."

The cold voice that reached Alice's ears made her shudder. His voice seemed unnaturally cold, almost as if he had no life.

A lost soul.

Alice turned around to see if Vivaldi was still in the room, but as expected, she already left and it was just the two of them…. Separated by a glass window. Alice noticed that Ace was gone as well. _He probably went back to the guards' room._

Alice shook her head and turned her attention back on Gray.

"H-hello…"

A long silence filled the air. Gray took this moment to study Alice.

Petite. Brown hair. Fair-skinned. And teal-blue eyes. Yes. Her teal-blue eyes made Gray feel as though her eyes could see right through him.

About ten minutes passed before Gray replied.

"You already said 'hello'."

Alice blushed just a bit and gave a nervous laugh. "Oh, I did already…. Didn't I?"

Alice looked away, not knowing what to say to Gray. Gray just sighed and leaned backwards in his chair.

"You don't have to act so scared. I'm behind the windows, remember?" Gray sarcastically commented as Alice averted her eyes from the young man.

Alice slowly looked up and decided to study his profile.

Tall. Well-toned. Silver-gray hair. A very handsome face. And dark-yellow eyes.

For some reason, he didn't seem like a normal convict to Alice. Although his hair was a bit too long and overgrown and his voice was unnaturally cold, the aura the man emitted made it seem as though he didn't belong there.

_Just like Alice. _

He didn't belong here.

This really intrigued Alice. Just before she could ask Gray anything, he spoke up.

"I can call Ace back if you're feeling uncomfortable. I know most people don't want to be around me," he said politely, but stiffly. "I don't want to make you feel scared at all."

Alice was quite surprised by his manner.

"Oh no, I'm not uncomfortable. I'm just a bit… perplexed."

Gray raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just a bit perplexed," repeated Alice. "Because you don't seem like the type of guy who would be in jail."

Gray showed a slightly bitter smile. "That's what Vivaldi said, too."

Alice smiled and put her hand against the window. Gray looked at her with confusion.

"Well, since we can't shake hands," said Alice. "Why don't we just put our hands against the window? This can constitute as our handshake, Mr. Ringmarc."

Gray's smile softened and it looked friendlier. He placed his large hands against Alice's tiny hands, with only the window blocking the two from making actual contact.

"Just 'Gray' is fine," he said.

Alice smiled. "Okay then, Gray."

Suddenly, a loud buzz came from the other side where Gray was seated. A few gears unlocked the door and Ace appeared.

"Okayyyy, Mr. Lizard! Visiting hours have ended," said Ace. "And my shift is over too!" Alice turned around and noticed another man who was checking in at the guard room.

"I-I guess I'll see you next Thursday?" questioned Gray.

Alice nodded her head. "See you next Thursday."

Alice hung up the phone and waved good-bye to Gray, who was handcuffed and taken away by Ace.

* * *

_He's actually not bad company. But still…. I wonder why Vivaldi made me come here instead of doing something else._

Alice pondered over this as she made her way out of the detention center. Just as she was about to call a taxi cab service, Ace tugged on her arm.

"Hey there," said Ace. He gave a big smile and Alice just politely nodded her head.

"Are you headed back to the city?"

Alice replied. "Yes, why do you ask?"

Ace smiled. "Well, I'm headed back to the city as well! Want to get a ride with me?" He gave a really suggestive smile, which made Alice feel very uncomfortable.

"Um… I think I'll just stick with the taxi cab, I don't want to trouble you," Alice declined politely.

"Oh come on, I'm really good with shortcuts! We can get back to the city in half the time you made it coming to the detention center!" Ace cheerfully exclaimed.

Alice felt uneasy. "I don't know… um…"

Ace decided to drag Alice to his car. Alice sighed and decided to take up on his offer just this once.

She felt the engine start and soon they were on the road back to the city.

* * *

Alice listened to the low hum of the car and the light music coming from the radio. Ace decided to break the ice.

"You're really cute, you know that right?"

Alice looked at him weirdly. _Such a strange guy… _

"Um… thank you?" Alice didn't know what to say to Ace. She just met him and it seemed like Vivaldi knew him, so for the moment Alice decided to trust him.

"I feel like I met you before."

"What do you mean?" It's been a few years since Alice left her apartment to do anything else besides go to St. Agnes.

"I had this really good friend," started Ace. "Well, I mean, we are still good friends, but he always tries to deny it haha. But, I remember visiting my friend one day at his clock shop and I saw you!"

Alice gave him another weird look. "Are you trying to hit on me?" She wasn't trying to sound as if she was a really attractive girl, but it seemed like he was trying to hit on her. He had the looks of a playboy.

Ace just gave a deep laugh and smiled at Alice. "I'm not joking!"

"Do you know Julius Monrey?"

Alice thought about it and nodded her head. "Yeah, I know Julius. We're… well… we were pretty good friends in high school and college."

Alice turned to Ace. "How do you know him? I don't ever recall Julius talking about you."

"Well, he doesn't like to speak about me and I was away overseas for most of my college years. But we were childhood friends.

I was his next door neighbor!" Ace said proudly.

Alice couldn't help but smile at Ace's bright attitude.

"Let's go visit him now!"

Alice looked at him with a confused look. "What?"

"Let's go visit him! I think his shop doesn't close until 6 p.m.! It's only 4:20. We got time!" Ace pointed to the clock in his car.

"Are you sure? From here, it's another 30 minutes," said Alice. "And I don't know if he would like for us to drop in so suddenly." Alice felt uneasy. She hadn't seen Julius for almost three years since the incident and never talked to him since.

"Naw, Julius is pretty good about handling sudden appearance," joked Ace. Alice raised her eyebrow.

"We'll be there in no time!"

* * *

**5 minutes before 6 o'clock in the evening.**

"Ace... I told you use your GPS! If your car has GPS, you might as well have used it," said Alice. She was exhausted. If there was any word better to describe her experience.

Alice stood in front of the shops doors as Ace climbed out of his car.

"Aw, don't be upset Alice! I only took the wrong ramp," said Ace.

"Like thirteen times!"

"At least you're here safe and sound," added Ace.

"You mean in one piece…You went off road plenty of times," huffed Alice. She never felt this scared in her life. "Next time, I think I'll take the cab," muttered Alice.

"What was that?" Ace walked next to her as he locked his car.

"Nothing."

"Well, let's go in!" Ace gave a hearty walk towards the door, but Alice froze in place.

_What if he doesn't like me? What if he's mad at me for not calling him for all these years? It could be worse… he might not even recognize me…._

"Yoo hoo, Alice!" Ace waved his hand in front of her. "Come on! We can't keep Julius waiting!"

Ace grabbed Alice's arm once again and dragged her inside the small clock shop.

"Wait, Ace! I don't think I want to—"

"Ace, is that you again?"

Alice heard the familiar voice. It hadn't changed one bit. A bit rough, but gentle. Exactly like Julius.

"Yo, Julius! I brought someone with me today!"

They made their way in to the store to the table behind the register.

"Don't tell me it's another girl from that night club you always visit. I don't need people like that in my shop," said Julius. His face was concentrated on a small pocket watch he was working on.

"Nope. I think you might actually know her!" Ace pushed Alice forward.

"A-Ace!"

Julius looked up and immediately put his tools down and stood up.

"**Alice**."

He rushed forward and gave her a strong hug. His warmth engulfed Alice while his long, raven hair brushed against Alice's face. Alice hesitantly brought her hands forward and hugged Julius back.

He finally let go and gave Alice an awkward, yet kind smile. However…

"I'm sorry Julius," those were the first words that came out Alice's mouth.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

Suddenly Alice began to cry, which made both men flustered.

"Alice! Don't…. don't cry!"

Julius looked up at Ace and gave him that "I don't know what to do" look. Ace shrugged his shoulders.

"Hug her again and look her in the eyes," whispered Ace.

"What?" Julius couldn't hear him.

"Just…" Ace pushed Julius away and just as he was about to give Alice a kiss, Alice punched Ace right in the face.

"What the hell?!" Alice wiped her tears and pouted. "What was that for?!"

"You were crying and…. We just wanted to comfort you, right Julius?" Ace nudged Julius on the arm. Julius sighed and did a face palm.

* * *

Ace walked around the shop as Julius and Alice talked behind the counter.

"So, how many years has it been?" said Alice.

"Almost three, Alice. Three years," said Julius. He gave her a look, but ended up smiling. "But, I'm glad that you're doing alright. I… I was really worried for you." He blushed.

This also caused Alice to blush. "I'm sorry… again…. I didn't mean to act that way. I just needed some alone time. But, before I knew it, days, weeks, months passed by."

Alice held her head down in shame.

Julius gently lifted Alice's head with his right hand and caressed her cheek.

"I missed you."

BA-DUMP

For some reason, Alice's heart skipped a beat.

"What have we got here?" Ace interrupted them as he brought a few broken pocket watches to the counter.

Julius blushed and cleared his throat, retracting his hand from Alice's cheek.

"N-nothing… Well, it's getting late. I should be closing up the shop soon," said Julius.

"O-okay… sorry for intruding Julius," said Alice.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" said Ace. He whispered into Julius's left ear. "Aren't you glad I brought her?"

Julius scowled and pushed Ace away. "Just go home and be careful."

Alice waved to Julius. "It was really good seeing you Julius." She handed him a small slip of paper.

* * *

Alice finally reached her apartment and immediately collapsed on her bed.

_It's been so long since I've talked this much. I never knew that I could talk with others like that again. I really missed Julius. He was my best friend…_

Alice realized how long she's been in hiding and that she needed to break out of her shell. She needed to come back again and be human. It was only a matter of time before she would have to face her most unwanted memories of the past.

Alice recalled her meeting with Gray.

She rolled over and looked outside the window.

_I wonder…. I wonder how he is… _

_Gray Ringmarc…_

* * *

**This feels... very melodramatic for my taste actually... I don't know what's with my writing lately haha. I'm having trouble with Hidden Beauty and Chasing Love right now. It's not even funny... I want to finish writing those T_T Well, it seems like Alice is coming out of her depression and surprisingly, seems a bit livelier after meeting Ace. Oh Ace... I think I toned down his bad sense of directions (I guess I could've made it worse considering he was driving a car). **

**Anything you particularly liked about the chapter? Any suggestions? **

**Well, please REVIEW! :)**

**~Seo Hyunee**


End file.
